We Need More Humility and Less Judgement

A couple of weeks ago North Carolina voters approved Amendment One.  The passage of this mean-spirited legislation troubled many people for a number of reasons.  For those who feel that people should be free to pursue committed relationships with other consenting adults that provide meaning and happiness in their lives, it was disheartening.  For those anticipating the untold harm the amendment will do to existing relationships and families because of its legally untested language regarding "civil unions," the passage of the amendment is heartbreaking. For those who believe that the civil rights of others should never be put to a vote, it was a betrayal of the American values of freedom and self-determination. Others saw the hypocrisy evident in the idea of people extolling the virtues of "limited goverment" while voting to insert government into the most personal of relationships. I share all these concerns but there is something else that has bothered me about the Amendment One debate and it has been simmering inside me over the last couple of weeks so I thought I would write about it.
 

In addition to the above concerns, what deeply troubles me is the arrogant self-righteousness that surrounds the issue of "gay marriage."  As a pastor I regularly meet with people who are experiencing significant issues in their marriage so I am well aware that the condition of many heterosexual marriages is actually quite fragile. Some couples are barely holding their relationship together and are doing so out a concern for the impact a divorce would have on their finances or their kids rather than a respect for the institution of marriage or a desire to build a loving relationship. They are just endeavoring to persevere.  I also meet with couples who are preparing to get married in our church and I help them work through our church's premarital counseling survey and companion workbook in an effort to help them discover the issues they will face in the first years of their marriage.  When I sit down with them, I encourage them to take the process seriously because statistics tells us that a little over 40% of first marriages end in divorce.  If you had to drive a car that catastrophically failed 40% of the time you would think carefully before starting the ignition and driving someplace. In addition, I have been married for 17 years and my own experience with marriage tells me that living in a committed, loving relationship with someone for any length of time is hard and something that requires work and compromise.  Indeed, there are many days that I wonder why my wife puts up with me at all.

Consequently, I have a deep sense of humility when it comes to marriage and I am profoundly disturbed by the arrogance and sense of superiority that pervades much of discussion from those who oppose gay marriage.  Maybe they don't intend it this way, but these self-appointed guardians of the sanctity of marriage act as though their marital relationships are all in good order so they are somehow qualified to pass judgement on someone else's relationship.  My experience tells me that most of us are not qualified to do so and that if someone looked under the hood of our marriage they would find a great deal about which to be concerned.

I guess what I would like to say is this: Until you are properly taking care of your own marriage, you have no business poking your nose into someone else's committed relationship - whether it be homosexual or heterosexual. As a wise rabbi from Nazareth once said, " Let you who is without sin cast the first stone." All of us could stand a healthy dose of humility before we start critiquing someone else's relationship. No one is perfect. All of our relationships could stand to be improved. When you never utter an unkind word to your spouse or always put their interests above your own, then you can tell other people when they can get married and to whom. Until then, you need to mind your own business and take care of your relationship with your spouse. If you're busy taking care of your own marriage, you'll be too busy to perceive a threat in someone else's happiness. I can't help but think that those who pass judgement on other people's relationships do so because their own marriage is so miserable that it's easier to critique someone else than to deal with their own issues. If you want to safeguard the sanctity of marriage - start with your own.  I expect it will keep you busy for a long time to come. 

 

The Awesomeness of iA Writer

These days most of my writing begins with a Field Notes notebook.  As I have written previously on this blog, I carry one with me almost everywhere and use them to capture inspiration and ideas.  Eventually, those ideas need to be shared and that means they have to be transferred into a digital format.  After going through a writing "dry-spell" last summer and consequently re-architecting my entire writing process, I made a conscious choice to eschew high powered, feature-bloated word processors for a more simplified approach.  I wanted to focus my attention on the act of writing - getting the words and thoughts out of my head and into good form on the page and screen.  So many of the "features" found in Microsoft Word or Apple's Pages actually get in the way of that process.  I wanted something simpler.  

Early last summer, I started trying out a number of Mac text editors with the hopes that they would offer a solution to my problem.  I had several criteria that guided my search.  The right application for me would have to have: cloud sync to Dropbox, iPad and iPhone versions for writing and editing on the go, good typography, a full screen mode, word count, the ability to save files as plain text, and no floating palettes.  This led me to several choices: WriteRoom, Byword, PlainText, and iA Writer. A number of other text editors seemed to be either too complex (such as those designed for writing code) or too ugly to consider. 

While WriteRoom, PlainText and Byword are fine products, I settled on iA Writer for a number of reasons.  First, iA Writer has no preferences with which to fiddle.  On the Mac, you can choose to enter a full screen mode which hides all other open apps so that you can direct your attention to working on your current document or FocusMode which allows you to direct your attention to one sentence at a time in your open document.  Other than those two choices of writing modes, there are no other options.  Being something of perfectionist, I can easily detour off the task of writing and spend an inordinate amount of time selecting just the write font in which to write or tweaking the best background color for my writing environment.  With iA Writer you get one font and one background but this is not a problem as they are both perfect for my tastes. They not only work to minimize distraction, they work together to create an elegant writing environment.  

Like many of the other text editors, Writer has Dropbox support and was the first Mac/iOS writing app to integrate with Apple's iCloud. Regardless of which cloud platform you choose, syncing is seamless and error-free. This allows me to write in the same beautiful enviroment on each of the devices I use and access my current work wherever I am - home, office, or on the go.  

iA Writer's Mac and iOS versions are solid and reliable with almost identical capabilities. Indeed, I believe that Writer began its life as an iPad app and was later ported to the Mac.  What had been missing was an iPhone version and the developer filled that gap a couple of weeks ago with the release of an updated universal iOS version that provided support for the iPhone.  This was a generous move and one that is much appreciated.  Something that took a couple of days to sink in as I used Writer on my iPhone 4S, was the ability to use the voice dictation built into iOS 5 running on the 4S to dictate my thoughts directly into the app.  This has made capturing ideas and inspiration almost effortless.  When you combine that with Writer's flawless cloud syncing, you end up with a powerful tool to dictate your ideas into your phone and have them "magically" appear on your Mac.  And if you are fortunate enough to have a new iPad you can do the same thing because it also allows for voice dictation.  Whenever I dictate a document into my iPhone or iPad, I feel like I have stepped into the world of Star Trek where everyone talks to computers instead of typing. It is a wonderful taste of the future.

All of these things work together to create a writing environment that allows me to work wherever inspiration might strike. This is the best of Apple and third party software working together to make my life easier and better.

Who Takes the Blame?

A little over a month ago the New York Times reported on an incident that occurred at the New York Philharmonic on November 9 of last year.  During the final measures of Mahler's Symphony Number 9, the unmistakable sound of the marimba iPhone alarm tone disrupted the performance and continued well past the usual few seconds it takes for someone to silence an offending device.  This iPhone was particularly distracting because the racket was emanating from the front row. The conductor halted the performance until it was silenced.  (Kudos to him for having the courage to tackle such an offense head on.)  Finally, the gentleman to whom the offending phone belonged figured out that it was indeed him who was causing the incident and he silenced the phone.  According to the New York Times, the man was horrified that he had disrupted the performance and claimed that he had only been given the iPhone the day before and did not know that an alarm had been set to go off.  To his credit, he had toggled the ringer mute switch to silence the iPhone before the performance but had no idea that an alarm would sound even if the switch was set to mute.

This gentleman learned the hard way that toggling an iPhone's ringer mute switch does just that - it silences the ringer and all other alert tones save one.  The exception is an alarm set to fire in the built in clock app. I almost learned this lesson the hard way myself not long after getting the original iPhone.  I was on my way into a funeral and had set my iPhone to mute well before entering the church but several feet from the sanctuary doors my iPhone started playing the scifi alarm tone.  I had the alarm set to go off each weekday to remind me to pick up my oldest son from school.  Because of the funeral, I had made arrangements for my wife to pick him up but the alarm was still set to go off.  Thankfully the alarm went off before the funeral and not during it, but my close encounter prompted me to research the behavior of the iPhone ringer mute switch and learn that alarms overide the mute setting.  Since that time, if I need to be absolutely sure that my phone is going to be silent, I either turn the phone completely off or disable all pending alarms in the clock app.

The New York Philharmonic incident set off an intense conversation among the iPhone faithful and Apple pundits.  Everyone was asking "what is the correct behavior of the iPhone ringer mute switch?"  The answers were varied and many of them were quite thoughtful and well articulated.  I particuarly appreciated posts by John Gruber, Andy Ihnatko, and Marco Arment.  All of them raise great points and arrive at valid conclusions regarding how and why Apple designed the iPhone ringer mute switch the way they did.  That said, the emphasis in most of the discussions I read or heard was on how Apple could have or should have designed the ringer mute switch.  This seems to place most of the responsibility back on Apple.

However, isn't it fair to examine our responsibility as users?  Shouldn't we know how to operate the devices we carry on a daily basis?  If we can't or won't take the responsibility to learn the essentials of their operation should we even be carrying them?  If my iphone alarm had gone of during that funeral I'm not sure I could have shifted the blame away from myself and onto Apple.  That would be like driving a convertable through a car wash with the top down and expecting someone else to get wet. I don't think angry funeral attendees would have welcomed a cry of "Don't blame me. It's the fault of those wacky Apple designers." They would have seen it as my fault.  They would have seen it as my responsibility to know how to operate my phone and to have the good sense to mute it given the setting I was in. To his credit, the gentleman whose iPhone alarm went off during the concert personally apologized to the conductor and the New York Philharmonic. He took responsibility for not knowing his phone well enough to prevent the disruption.  I wish I had heard more of this kind of reasoning in the excellent discussions of ringer mute switch design that followed the incident.  In the end, the buck stops with users - the people who buy the phones and carry them wherever they go.